Center for HOPE lights way
for missing across the USA 

By Ann Hauprich

Suzanne Gloria Lyall was a beautiful 19-year-old SUNY/Albany sophomore with long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes when she vanished without a trace from the college campus one evening nearly eight years ago.

Each day since then, parents Doug and Mary Lyall of Ballston Spa, NY, have struggled to rebuild their lives while hoping every time the phone rings the caller will have news regarding their daughter’s fate.

In that respect, the Lyalls are much like the loved ones of legions of others across the nation who are officially listed as missing. What sets the Lyalls apart are the extraordinary measures they’ve taken since 5’ 3” Suzy’s mysterious disappearance on March 2, 1998 to comfort and support others in similar circumstances and to prevent future such tragedies from unfolding.

Out of the ashes of their anguish and heartache, the Lyalls laid the foundation for The Center for HOPE (Healing Our Painful Emotions) -- a not-for-profit that is often the first place people turn after calling the police to sound the alarm that a loved one is feared missing.

Alas, an important component is missing from their crusade to turn the tide in what they view as “an epidemic” of missing persons. Is it possible that our society has grown so accustomed to hearing about the topic that we despair at the prospect of reuniting the faces seen on billboards and bulletin boards with their families -- or worse -- that we can rationalize doing nothing on the basis that we are not our brother’s (or sister’s) keeper?

As a seasoned mental health counsellor, Doug Lyall understands this lack of connection and refrains from finger pointing or lecturing. But as the father of a missing child, he wishes he had cared more about such faces and done more to prevent abductions before his own daughter became a statistic. “There was a time when Mary and I thought tragedies like this only happened to other people. We never really gave that much thought to their plight until it happened to us. I can tell you with conviction that time does not seem to heal as it does with other types of losses. There is no closure as long as a loved one remains missing.”

And so it is that the Lyalls pour their very hearts and souls into The Center for HOPE doing all they can to shed light on a subject members of previous generations rarely had reason to ponder.

In recent years, the Lyalls have assisted in the recovery of several missing persons as well as being instrumental in a number of important civic and legislative initiatives. These include The Missing Person’s Alert System throughout the NYS Thruway; the NYS Campus Safety Act, the inclusion of Missing Persons Profiles inside NYS Income Tax Forms; an ID kit for young adults; and a brochure that provides step-by-step guidelines regarding what to do should a loved one go missing. They’re also planning a December 11, fund-raiser at the Canfield Casino in Saratoga Springs that they hope will also raise awareness of missing persons. The day’s events include abduction prevention programs and having an ID card with fingerprints, photo, and personal info made and given to the parents. A copy will be held by DCJS until the child turns 18 so that authorities can move swiftly should the worst ever occur.

Yet despite these many accomplishments, the Lyalls are adamant they can -- and must -- do more. They are especially eager to do everything possible to help prevent abductions such as the one that was recently attempted, but mercifully foiled, in nearby Saratoga Springs. The fact that the incident involving a 17-year-old female high school student led to the arrest of a man who is also being investigated for possible links to unsolved mystery cases -- including Suzy’s -- has made the Lyalls more determined than ever to persevere in their noble quest. (Please see related GOOGLE Alert re: John Regan, 49, of Waterbury, Connecticut.)

It boggles the minds and tugs at the heart strings of the Lyalls that complacency has largely surrounded so many of the cases involving the nearly 4,000 individuals listed as missing in NYS and the 90,000 or so who are accounted for nationwide. Among the faces of the missing are two from the upstate New York area where Suzanne Lyall's family resides. Craig Frear was a strapping 17-year-old Scotia-Glenville high school soccer star looking forward his senior year when he vanished in the summer of 2004. Petite Christina N. White, also 17, was last seen near her home in Rock City Falls (on the outskirts of Saratoga Springs) the summer of 2005.

No matter how young or how old the missing person is, the roller coaster ride of emotions experienced by those left behind to be strikingly similar. In addition to their grief, those struggling to come to grips with the reality that a loved one is unaccounted for typically express feelings of shock and disbelief followed by frustration and anger before finally coming to the gut-wrenching realization that this is not some nightmare from which they will awaken if pinched. At this point, the most devastating emotion of all -- despair -- often sets in. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men cannot be expected to put such shattered lives together again. The costs to our society may be hidden or obscured, but they are real.

No wonder the Lyalls are continuing to lobby for passage of a law that would designate school grounds as Assault & Abduction Free Zones.

Initially introduced by NYS Assemblyman James Tedisco as Bill 7078-C in 1999, the proposed legislation has passed the Senate almost unanimously every year since only to come to a standstill at the Assembly level. Now known as Bill 2478, it remains in legislative limbo -- a status considered unacceptable by the Lyalls and Tedisco.

Dubbed “Suzanne’s Law” (in honor of Suzanne Lyall), the legislation would essentially double the sentences handed individuals who are convicted of attempting or succeeding at abducting or assaulting people while on school grounds. According to Tedisco, if the man arrested for the attempted abduction in Saratoga is convicted on the charge, current law provides for him to serve as little as three and a half years, and a maximum of 15 years, in state prison. Under Tedisco’s bill, the offender would serve a minimum of seven years and a maximum of 30 years.

“Passage of this bill would raise awareness and send a message to would-be adductors that schools are sacred grounds. Our children are meant to be our future. Those who would take that away from them -- from all of us -- should face the stiffest of penalties,” argues Suzanne’s father.

Assemblyman Tedisco echoes these sentiments, and urges voters to stand up and be counted in the war to end the numbers of crimes linked to missing persons. “The recent attempted abduction of a Saratoga Springs school girl should have been a wake-up call . . . but for the grace of God, was that family spared the heartache of a Suzanne Lyall-like ordeal. We, as a society, need to be vigilant. We need to do everything possible to prevent future abductions.”

Adds Tedisco: “There’s nothing like the power of the people to bring about needed reform. The voices of the eighteen and a half million people will not be ignored by the 212 legislators if those voices choose to be heard. People need to send letters to Speaker Sheldon Silver and his party affiliates urging them to pass Bill 2478.”

A spokesman for Silver’s office counters that a different bill (#8894) was recently passed that bans sexual predators from setting foot on school grounds. As commendable as this is, this new piece of legislation does NOT cover the same territory as the one being backed by the Lyalls and Tedisco. It’s Bandaid where reconstructive surgery is needed.

Perhaps most riveting of all to ponder as the holidays near are The Center for HOPE’s plans to break ground before the year ends for what will be known as a “REMORIAL” for Missing Persons. The site for the remorial (a term that combines the words “remembrance” and “memorial” ) has already been secured at the Capitol near the corner of Swan Street and Madison Avenue in Albany.

An eternal flame will glow from the sleek 20-foot high structure where those coping with the unexplained disappearance of a loved one may go to remember, to grieve and to heal.

The Lyalls are seeking donations for the remorial in the hope that the landmark (the first of its kind in the nation) will be ready to receive visitors by April 6, 2006 -- when under different circumstances, they’d have been making plans to celebrate Suzanne’s 28th birthday with her. Instead, her parents will bring together kindred spirits at the Fifth Annual New York State Missing Persons Day in Albany.

One might think the Lyalls would be too tired or too demoralized to give anymore, On the contrary, it is in giving that they find a way to carry on as shining examples of what can happen when the human heart and spirit summon the strength and the courage to transform a tragedy of immeasurable proportions into rays of hope for others.

“Doug and I know from personal experience that a small act can make a large difference. Just being with the missing person’s loved one, lending a listening ear, holding a hand, giving a hug, can be a source of hope and encouragement,” notes Suzanne’s mother, Mary.

Such actions are, of course, also symbols of the Lyalls undying love for Suzy --- and an enduring tribute to her legacy.

What a wonderful gift it would be if the Lyalls could visit the Remorial on April 6, 2006 with a copy of a new law that might prevent another parent from having to face a child’s birthday comforted by an eternal flame rather than reveling in the simple joy of blowing out more candles on a cake.

For information about how you can help, please call The Center for HOPE at 884-8761 or visit www.hope4themissing.org.